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Last Tuesday we had the first half of the English II state test, the written portion, so the days leading up to it were fairly filled with informative essay prompts and writing practice. On Monday, BG's seat was vacant during first period. This is not a surprise. I have his section for back-to-back periods, and he is rarely there for the first one and maybe 50% of the time present for the second period. At the sound of the bell between periods, the kids get a break to stretch their legs and their lungs so I open the door and let them out - only to see BG leaning up against the outside wall beside my door, ballcap on and shirt untucked (and even worse, unironed), trying to casually avoid eye contact.
"How long have you been standing out here?"
"I just got to school."
"How do you expect to pass if you always miss first period?"
He shrugs. Months ago I had attempted to find ways to get him to school. I felt bad for him. I knew him as a teacher and a coach, in fact, he was one of my Killer DBs. So I learned quickly that he has a terrible temper and was apt to lash out at teacher's or students at the slightest provocation, is extremely insecure (though not at all conscious of this), and way behind where he should be academically. If you're talking national standards, he reads and writes around a second/third grade level ... and he's being asked to do tenth grade work. We've had many talks throughout the year - on the football field during practices, on the bus to or from games, during class or in the hall after an outburst - and I see that he really is just a scared, confused and sometimes angry kid who has no positive role models in his life at all. I've dropped him off at his apartment, met his mom and for a while had her permission to pick him up at their apartment on my way to school so I could make sure he got there on time as well as help him with his reading in the morning before other kids showed up. That didn't last long. Some days nobody would answer the phone (which is usually disconnected) or the door when I got there, some days they would let me in and I would end up waiting forever for him to get ready making us both nearly late for school and at one point he got kicked out of his house by his mother for throwing a television at her, apparently, so he was bouncing around between friends' houses.
Needless to say, he came to school very infrequently during those few weeks. I shouldn't talk. I was also missing too many days or running late too often, so it wasn't always his fault.
I still try to get him in early at least a few days every week. Just last week, I picked up another one of my breakfast club students and left him in the car while I went to knock on BG's door. His mother let me in, then began to scream into his room (where he was 'asleep' while his television blared sportscenter highlights loud enough to make most people deaf) to get up. She cursed at him, called him all sorts of shit, and even threw a shoe at him. I sat in the living room waiting, about 30 minutes, looking at a few family photos and mostly just staring at the wall. While I was waiting, I could hear his mother berating his younger sister in the other room - at one point coming into the living room to get a belt and then returning to the back room where I could hear the whacks and the crying. She demanded angrily that the girl spell out words like 'shell' or 'she' (evidently she had a spelling test that day - she couldnt have been more than ten years old) and would hit her or yell even louder everytime she got a word wrong ... which was everytime.
"How the hell you gonna keep sayin' c when I just told you it were s! Shut up with that crying an' get it right 'fore I tear yo' butt up, girl!"
Eventually, BG emerged with his head down apparently ready to go. No wonder he reads at a such a low level - no wonder he has such a temper, so many insecurities and is so fragile. I did get him to go to school, which he wouldnt have done if i didnt pick him up, although, since I had to wait so long, we didnt have any time to practice his reading - or the other students'. He told me he was fittin' to leave early anyway - and he did. I waited for close to an hour in his house for him to come to just one period then walk home. The mountain this kid has to climb to even get close to where he can pass or graduate is so high, and the hill so steep - nobody would be surprised to see him give up and fall. Especially when he won't even look up himself.
On Monday before the state test, though, I pulled him into the room before the bell for second period rang so that I could get him up to speed with what the class had been doing first period; informative essay practice, same thing we've done all year long so that by test time tomorrow it should be second nature. He sat down quietly, still avoiding eye contact, while I explained the prompt, gave him a pencil and let him get to work.
Informative Essay Prompt: You're teacher has given you an assignment to write an informative essay. Think about people you consider to be interesting. Write about why you consider these people to be interesting. Be sure to explain your reasons with details.
I let him be and circulate around the room, coming back from time to time to make sure he's on task. After about 15 minutes, I ask to read what he's written so far. He slouches down in his chair, and looks down and away without saying a word. He has a paragraph written, if you can call it that - about six-seven written lines entirely without punctuation save for two lonely apostrophes - but it's what he's written that gets my attention.
one Person that interest me is my mother why cause she always hard on me cause she want better for me she want me to pass high school but that not going to happin cause I am all ready know I didn't pass and thats going to hurt her second Person that interest me is my teacher Mrs. Doyle why cause he's the type of teacher that care and want you to do better for yourself and make the right choice in life and school
I take a deep breath and am about to tell him how good this is, then show him where he can make his run-on into shorter complete sentences and form paragraphs, when I see that he has tears falling down his face. He isn't making any noise, just sitting quietly and still looking down at the dusty tiled floor. And in a matter of seconds, while I am trying to find the words to comfort him, he gets up quickly and pushes his desk hard to the side so that it slides into the person next to him and then falls to the floor loudly. His desk is right beside the door, so before I can react he's outside and rounded the corner of the English wing. I left the class, ran around the corner and called to him but he ignored me and kept on walking away. I didn't write a referral, and have spoken to him since. He told me how he is up late most nights til 2-3 AM selling marijuana, he swore he wasn't smoking it or selling coke or anything harder than pot, so that he can buy his food and clothes - his mom hasn't worked for years (he laughed and shook his head as he said it), so he has to buy anything he needs/wants himself. He doesn't see his dad much, even though he lives in the same town - he's been in and out of jail, mostly for drug related offenses. We talk about the importance of finishing off the year, even though he will not be able to do anything to pass a single one of his classes (aside from getting straight 100s this nine weeks) and he agrees to write letters to his teachers apologizing for his poor work this year and promising to do better next year - "Oh, I'm coming back Mr. Doyle, don't worry. I know I can do it." He's already a year or two older than most tenth graders.
He also tells me that what he really wants is to get away and live someplace else; "I don't like it here. Everyone be all up in your business" What he means is he wants a chance to start off fresh. I ask where and he tells me Virginia. Why? "I don't know," he says. "It look real nice on TV, like, their school is clean and stuff and its mixed."
Later that day much of the school is stuck in the gym for another senseless mock-test, and he comes over and sits by me where I'm reading alone on the bleachers. He's all smiles, just off a defeat on the court and joking with a girl sitting beside us. A few minutes later, he's got his arm around another teacher and they are both laughing - the same teacher who earlier in the year told me she was afraid of being in the same room with BG.
I almost wish I could adopt him; mentor a 17 year-old ward when I can hardly take care of myself. He really does want to do well, to work harder and make better choices ... but its just so damn hard.
On another note, CW surprised me with his response to the same informative essay writing prompt mentioned above. CW is a big, hulking, 260 lb. mean-looking linebacker originally from New Orleans who manages to even display a grimace when he smiles. After Katrina, neither his mother or father, who were never married and whom he bounced between for the first 15 years of his life, were able to support him so he was sent to live with his grandmother, a stooped woman he had only met once before, in the Delta. He's been here since the storm, and hasn't had any contact at all from either of his parents - needless to say he isn't happy about the situation. He spent the first two months of school in Alternative because of a pretty serious fight, and has been suspended 3-4 more times since then. I like him, most of the time, and he is one of my smarter students when he isn't asleep in class. Anyway, earlier this year when I had them researching for a response on the artists of the Harlem Renaissance - he called me over to his computer to spit out in adolescent disgust, "Nah man, I don't want to write about this shit." He had discovered Langston Hughes was gay. I told him to focus on the poetry and the artist's work, and keep his comments to himself. More recently than that, you may recall a blog titled 'Onions', in which a quiet student in my class was reciting a Hughes poem and, after declaring "A May song should be gay", was rudely interrupted by several students laughing and making homophobic comments. The most vocal of the hecklers was CW. I laid into them all for a while on their intolerant attitudes and base insensitivity - and at least got them quiet and got their attention. Fast-forward to the Monday before the writing portion of the state exam when we are practicing informative essays. Here is an excerpt from CW's; he chose Martin Luther King Jr., Michael Jackson and, you got it, Langston Hughes as his three 'interesting people'.
I wanted to hug him. Also, you might find it interesting that he had originally selected Reggie Bush as his third 'interesting person' and crossed the footballer out to be replaced by the King of Pop. Wheels are turning, however slowly, and by-Zeus something is being learned. They may not all pass the state test and they may not all graduate, but the wheels are turning and something is being learned.
James Langston Hughes was one of the world's most notorious poets. He had the language of poetry down to a science. He had a rough childhood because his father and him were not on the same page. He wrote children's books, novels and newspaper articles. He also wrote books of poetry and he recieved an award from the NAACP for his writings. I think he is interesting because he is a great leader, and he wasn't afraid to be different.
